Through You: Chapter 36
ARTEMIS
What?
That single word keeps spinning nonstop in my head. But I keep smiling because Claudia must be joking.
“Very funny. But I’m not falling for it,” I reply, shaking my head. “You probably thought you could trick me like the time you had your appendix removed and you told me the doctor ordered you to eat obscene quantities of ice cream. You got ice cream every day for an entire week until I realized you’d been lying to me.”
She half smiles when I bring up that story, but there’s no joy in her expression. She licks her lips and puts a lock of hair behind her ear. Then she stares down into her lap, where her clasped hands are resting.
“Come on. Don’t give me that,” I say, laughing a little. “Superb acting performance.”
“Artemis . . .” Her voice is barely a whisper.
“Don’t joke around about that stuff, Claudia.”
She looks up at me—straight in the eyes. And I understand she’s serious. My smile slowly fades and my chest feels tight.
“I’m not joking.” Her tone is flat and defensive.
I open my mouth to say something but immediately close it because I really don’t know what to say.
My mind goes back to that one word, still spinning in a hamster wheel of disbelief because I didn’t see this coming at all. I want to say something and soothe the fear and hesitancy evident in her expression. I just don’t know what to say.
She’s pregnant.
I suppose that’s possible since we had unprotected sex—I’m not stupid. Although, I thought she was on the pill. Claudia has always been meticulous and careful in everything she does, so an unplanned pregnancy seems out of character for her, and has completely caught me off guard.
Say something.
Claudia bites her upper lip then slowly releases it. The tension is obvious in her shoulders and her body language.
“I’m sorry,” she says with a sad smile. “I must have missed a day of the pill or something. I still can’t figure out what happened, but this is my fault. You trusted me. You don’t have—”
“Stop.”
She stares at me with a puzzled look.
“Please stop talking, because I know I’m not going to like what you’re going to say. I know you, and I can tell what you’re thinking.”
She is silent, and eyes me warily. I get up, and the back of my neck is so tight that I try to massage out some of the tension.
“We’re both adults who knew what we were doing. Even though you’re on the pill, we knew there was a risk of getting pregnant if we had unprotected sex. No one is to blame here.”
She looks away. This is the first time I’ve seen her look so vulnerable.
She’s afraid. This situation is probably as much of a surprise to her as it is to me. I glance at her stomach and suddenly heat spreads inside my chest. And the shock is replaced with a feeling of warmth.
Claudia is pregnant. My child is growing inside her. I’m going be a father.
Me? Someone’s father? How can that be possible when I’m a disaster? After many years, I’ve just barely started to mend the relationship I have with my own father. My immediate plans didn’t include a baby. But if it’s with her, the woman I’ve always loved, it must be a good thing. After all, it’s always been her for me.
“Claudia.”
She looks at me, and I give her a genuine smile.
“Everything is going to be okay,” I promise her as I move closer. The warmth I feel in my chest spreads all over. And I’m assailed by a volley of unruly emotions now that I’ve fully processed the news. “I know this is something we didn’t plan, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that knowing I’m going to be a father makes me very happy.” I cradle her face with my hands. “For me, it has and will always be you, Claudia.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and I can tell she’s struggling to keep them from falling. I know she doesn’t like to cry, always fighting to maintain the remarkable fortitude that’s part of her character.
So I have to help her see that it’s okay to be vulnerable and scared.
“I—” Her voice breaks. “I had so many plans, I had things I wanted to accomplish, wanted to improve about myself before I had a baby,” she confesses. “Because I never want a child to go through what I experienced.”
This breaks my heart.
“And that won’t happen, Claudia. You are not alone.” She closes her eyes, and two fat tears roll down her cheeks. “Hey.
Look at me.” She opens her bloodshot eyes. “You are not alone. I am here by your side, just like always.”
“I’m so afraid, Artemis.” Her lips tremble as she cries. “I didn’t expect something like this—a baby, a life, someone I could mess up if I don’t get it right . . . and I’ve always been terrified of giving birth. And . . .”
“Hey, hey.” I try to calm her down. “Let’s take one step at a time, okay? Put one foot in front of the other,” I tell her, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. “I’m here, and everything is going to be fine. I’ll take care of you and our baby, Claudia. Do you trust me?”
She nods.
“So trust me when I say that everything is going to be fine.
And I’m going to be here every step of the way. Because I love you like I never imagined I could ever love someone. And I’m certain that I’ll love this baby even more.”This material belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
“What if we mess it up? What if we’re not good parents?” She shares all her fears, and I’m glad she’s able to share these emotions with me. “And what if something goes wrong? I’ve got so many fears and traumas. How can I be responsible for another human being? Me, who can’t even say I love you without having my stomach churn, thinking back to all the men who said it to my mother.”
It brings some peace to know the reason she hasn’t said it back. She needs time, and I’ll give it to her. I lean in and kiss her softly, tasting the salty tears on her lips. I smile at her when I pull away.
“Let me say it for both of us. I love you, Claudia.” I look at her.
“And I know you love me, too, dummy.”
She gives me a half smile through her tears. “And you’re dumber than I am.”
I return her smile and kiss her forehead before wrapping her in my arms. She buries her face in my chest.
“Everything is going to be fine, Claudia,” I promise once again, and I don’t mind repeating it because I know how much she needs to hear it.
“I still can’t believe it,” she whispers against my chest.
“Neither can I,” I admit.
“Promise me we won’t screw this up. That regardless of what may happen between us, this baby will always be our first priority.
Promise me that we will put their well-being above all else.”
I understand her concern. We’ve both had bad experiences with our respective parents. I rest my chin on the top of her head.
“Claudia, you are you. And I am me. We are not our parents.”
She sighs and I continue to speak.
“Let’s use our parents’ mistakes as examples of what not to do. I’m not saying we’ll always get it right, but we’ll be the best version of ourselves for this baby.”
“I guess I melted you enough to accidentally create a mini-iceberg.”
At least she’s making jokes again.
“Or a mini-fire.”
We pull away, and she wipes away her tears, letting out a long sigh.
“I hate you.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Why?”
She taps my arm lightly. “Of course you had to get me pregnant.”
“Excuse me? I don’t remember you protesting while it was happening. I mean, not in a negative way.”
She falls back on the bed, stares at the ceiling, and I sit next to her.
“You need to rest. Tomorrow is another day.”
“I’ll still be pregnant tomorrow.”
“I know.”
She reaches for my hand. “I’m not alone.”
“You are not alone,” I repeat back to her, and lift her hand to give it a kiss. “Now rest.”
She closes her eyes. I watch over her until I notice her chest rising and falling in an even rhythm, confirming that she’s finally asleep.
Down the hall outside the room, to my surprise I find Apolo checking room numbers, probably looking for Claudia’s. How did he find out?
He rushes in my direction when he spots me, visibly concerned. My brain is still feeling a little disoriented.
“Artemis!” he calls to me. “How are you? What happened?”
“You’re going to be an uncle.”
The words spill out of my mouth freely and unfiltered. What has happened to me? What the fuck has happened to me? Claudia is going to kill me. Apolo freezes in his tracks and his jaw drops in shock.
“What?”
I clear my throat. I can’t say any more. Apolo’s face lights up.
“I’m going to be an uncle?” A smile spreads across his lips.
“You’re not screwing with me, right? I guess not, you wouldn’t joke about that.” He holds his face tightly, looking surprised.
“Really?”
“Oh shit.” I run my fingers through my hair. “If Claudia asks, I didn’t tell you anything.”
“I can’t believe it. Congratulations, Artemis.” He wraps me in a hug. His excitement is contagious. When we come apart, I notice his smile is wider. “I honestly thought Ares would be the first to make me an uncle.”
I scowl.
“Oh, come on. We both know how much sex that savage has had,” he adds before glancing at the door of the room. “How’s she doing?”
“Surprised and a little scared. And I don’t blame her—it wasn’t something we planned.”
“The best things are never planned.”
“In this case, I fully agree. However, you’re just finishing high school, so no unplanned pregnancies for you.”
“As if I have sex,” he mutters, but I don’t believe him at all.
“Anyway, can I see her?”
“She’s resting. It’s been a complicated day.”
“I can imagine.” Apolo grabs his head. “I just can’t believe it.
I’m going to be an uncle. I bet I’ll be the favorite uncle.”
“I’ve missed a few calls from the house. Was that you?”
“No, it was Grandfather. He’s really worried. I’ll call back and let him know she’s fine.”
“Apolo, you can’t tell anyone that Claudia is pregnant. I need to talk to her first about how she wants to share the news. I told you by accident.”
“Lots of accidents lately, huh?” he jokes, and I give him a murderous look. “Okay. Too soon?”
I don’t say anything and head back inside to look after Claudia while she sleeps. I’ve never felt a fear as pure and as deep as when she fainted in my arms. So I’m staying put for a little longer. And now that I know she’s pregnant, I feel even more protective than I did before.
“Artemis, you’re exaggerating.”
Claudia crosses her arms over her chest and refuses my assistance when we get back from the hospital. I want her to lean on me and let me help her walk to the house the moment we get out of the car. The early morning sun shines on her messy red hair and brings out the small freckles on her cheeks.
“I can walk just fine,” she informs me as she goes by. I let out a sigh while closing the door of the car, and follow her.
When she enters the house, her mother and my grandfather are there to greet her with a hug. She reassures them that she’s fine. However, I notice my father standing in the hallway that leads to the study. Apolo is next to him. They both look serious and worried.
What’s happening?
“Claudia.” My father greets her. “I’m so glad you’re here. You gave us a good scare.”
She smiles at him. “I’m stronger than I look.”
All of a sudden, the person I least expected to see is coming down the stairs. His black hair is longer than the last time I saw him. I’m happy to see him, but what is he doing here? And then I remember the coming Fourth of July holiday weekend, and I realize that it’s been a year since I came home, since I came back to her. Ares rushes over to give Claudia a hug.
“I know you were excited I was coming home but passing out is a little too much, don’t you think?” says Ares playfully.
“Idiot.” Claudia hits his shoulder before hugging him again.
“It hasn’t been that long, still, I’ve missed you a lot.”
Ares moves toward me when they pull away, and I raise an eyebrow. “I’m not going to hug you.”
He puts his hand on his chest. “Always so cold.”
“No, it just hasn’t been that long, Ares.”
He hugs me anyway, and I grimace.
“Stop it with the uptight act,” he says quietly into my ear.
“You and Claudia, huh? Finally. It took you long enough.”
Apolo can’t keep anything to himself. He already told Ares about me being with Claudia. I just hope he didn’t spill about the baby because I will definitely kill him—right before Claudia kills me.
“Ares and Artemis, we need you both to come to the study for a moment.” My father’s voice reminds me of the worried expression I noticed when I first walked into the house. Ares seems as confused as I am.
My dad turns around and walks down the hallway. Apolo smiles at me before he turns and follows him. Claudia knits her eyebrows, looking at me. And I shrug, because I have no idea what’s going on, and make my way down the hall.
I close the study door behind us. My confusion grows when I see our mother sitting on the couch. Her eyes are puffy and red, but there’s no trace of tears, as if she hadn’t shed them at all. Apolo and my dad sit next to her. Ares and I share a glance before we take a seat on the couch that’s across from theirs.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, looking at the faces of my family and searching for an answer.
“We’re taking advantage of Ares’s visit and decided to gather you all here to hear what we have to share,” our father begins.
“We were thinking of doing this last night when he arrived, but Artemis spent the night in the hospital, so . . . well, your mother and I have decided to separate.”
What?
“We’ve already started divorce proceedings.” My mother speaks up. “I’m moving out of the house after the Fourth of July and into the vacation home I bought some time ago, the one next to Apolo’s favorite river.” She smiles at him, and Apolo looks devastated. Ares has his hands in his lap, and they’re clenched into fists so tight his knuckles have turned white.
A painful ache catches me by surprise. I thought I would feel relief. This is what we always wanted—for them to separate because they had hurt each other so much. But now that it’s actually happening, I feel my chest burn, and I can see the pain in my brothers’ expressions. Regardless of all the mistakes they’ve made, they’re still our parents, always together. I suppose we, their children, secretly hoped they’d work their problems out and find a way to keep our family together. Our parents are waiting for one of us to say something. When we don’t, our mother tightly purses her lips, and manages to recover her strength.
“I know I’ve made too many mistakes and caused you all a lot of harm by being selfish. I have no excuse and don’t expect you to understand. I just want you to know that I have loved you and will always love you. And that the doors of my house will always be open to you. That”—her voice breaks—“you will always will be my children, and I will always be your mother.”
Ares snorts, though he seems to be on the verge of tears.
“Now she wants to be our mother?”
Apolo lowers his gaze, tears running down his cheeks and falling from his chin.
“Ares . . .” I try to soothe him.
“No.” He shakes his head. “After all the shit you’ve put us through over the years, now you’ve finally come to this realization.” I sense the pain in his tone. He’s doing what he always does, hiding behind coarse, cruel words. Our mother’s eyes fill with more tears.
“Don’t cry,” Ares orders her. “You have no right to cry, you don’t—” His voice chokes with the emotions he’s trying hard to suppress. “What the fuck took you so long? If you had figured this out before, if . . .”
“We can’t live in the if s, Ares,” I say, making him turn his attention to me. “Mistakes were made and people were hurt—all that already happened. We can’t change the past.”
My voice sounds colder than I expected. I suppose this is what I do. I hide behind cold composure. A sad smile forms on my lips as I realize Ares and I are more alike than I thought.
“It’s okay, Artemis,” Mom says as she wipes away her tears.
“He has every right to vent to his feelings. Ares, son, you may insult me, say whatever you want to me—I deserve it.”
Ares says nothing and covers his face with both hands.
My father speaks again. “You can visit her whenever you want, and she can come over to see you whenever she likes. Even though we’re parting ways, your mother and I hope to remain amicable.”
“We understand,” I respond on behalf of my brothers.
“I’m glad you’re handling this situation in a levelheaded and nonantagonistic manner.”
My mom stands up. “I need to start packing my things.” My chest tightens but I try my best to give her a smile. “I am truly sorry, my children. I hope one day you’ll find it in your hearts to forgive me.”
She walks out of the study, leaving us still and silent.
Ares massages his face, looking frustrated. Apolo tries to hold back his tears. And our father simply gives us a sad smile.
“I, too, owe you an apology. Your mother is not the only person at fault. I chose to stay with her in spite of everything that happened. I chose not to get a separation when I should have, so I am partly to blame.”
“It’s okay, Dad,” I reassure him.
Ares rises and exits the study without saying a word. Father sits next to Apolo and comforts him. And I need to get out of there.
I climb the stairs, heading to my room. I feel the eyes of everyone waiting in the living room directly on me. But I don’t look back at them. I sit on my bed and run my hand over my face and hair. The image of my mother’s flushed face haunts me.
Someone opens the door, and Claudia enters. She closes the door behind her and studies me with worried eyes. I release the tension from my shoulders and let my guard down. I don’t need to hide how I feel when I’m with her.
She slowly makes her way over. “Are you okay?”
I grab her by the hips and hug her. I rest my face on her stomach; the smell of her relaxes me. “I’m going to be a good father.” I make a promise I know I will keep. “I’ll try my very best, Claudia.
I promise you.”
Claudia strokes my head gently. “Of course you will, Artemis.”
My goals in life, now and forever, are to love this woman and give my all to raising my baby. I can’t change the past or erase the wounds it has inflicted. But I can forge a different future for us.