Tangled Love

CHAPTER 132

"Jake's boss beat him up Emily, he was barely alive when me and Tobias found him. Oh my god, it was horrible."

My mind blurs and I hold onto the wall for support as I feel my knees weaken.

"Why did Amil beat him?" I ask quickly, my heart rate increasing.

"I don't know, Tobias wouldn't tell me."

"But he rang me this morning, he sounded fine. . . A little angry but not in pain."

"It's Jake, he doesn't show when he's in pain. He's all patched up now but he's resting at home. He's not the same without you Em, he's just . . . Sad." Ivory explains, her voice softening. I feel my heart clench tightly and I take a step back, fiddling with my hands.

"I don't know what to do," I murmur, closing my eyes. The corridors are almost empty now and I sink to the floor, pulling my knees towards my chest. I feel Ivory's hand squeeze my shoulder before she crouches next to me —

"It's okay to need some space," she reassures me and I nod in a daze, my mind unable to think straight.

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask, my throat tightening as I think of him in pain. Ivory nods, helping me up off the floor.

"I think so, he's as tough as old boots. Tobias and I miss you, the house isn't the same. It's like a piece of Jake is missing too," she adds sadly and I give her a small smile knowing exactly how she feels. I miss them too, both of them.

"I miss you too but I can't do it anymore Ivory, I just can’t."

After a long day at college, I make my way to the living room and collapse onto the couch, letting my bag slide to the floor. Shutting my eyes, I immediately feel sleep wash over me and I sigh contently, cuddling further into the soft fabric.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll down till I find Jake's number. I've thought about him all day, worried about what Amil had done to him. A pang of hurt jabs into my chest as I realise I wasn't there for him. I wasn't there to care for him like he had done with me, I had left him when he needed me the most.

Hey, Ivory told me what happened, are you okay? -Em

I send the text and nibble on my bottom lip debating whether I should have put an 'x' at the end or not. I decided against it, not wanting to give him mixed signals but it feels so wrong not ending the text with the little sign of affection. Even though we aren't together anymore doesn't mean I don't care for him.

I love him, I will always love him.

He's my first love, my first everything.

I'll always have a soft spot for him in my heart and even though I'm hurting right now, I can't just abandon him. Moments pass and my phone buzzes, causing me to jump in surprise. I can feel my heartbeat quickening up as I read over his reply --

Jake - Why do you care? Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Emily - Of course I care, I can't turn my feelings off for you Jake.

Jake - You left me Muffin.

Emily - For good reason.

Jake - I know. Let me explain, please?

I sigh, re-reading his message. The last thing I can do is give him the chance to explain. I owe him that much at least. Holding the phone to my ear, I wait patiently for him to answer --

"Hey Emily."

"Hey, explain Jake," I say quietly, getting comfortable on the couch.

"Do we have to do this over the phone?" He asks me, his voice low and deep. A small tingle travels down my spine and I close my eyes, trying to ignore it.

"Yes, you've got one chance to explain yourself Jake," I murmur in response. Seeing him face to face will only cause my emotions to fly off the handle and I can't do that, I have to be strong.

"I didn't know you were at the club."

I pause, my face contorting in utter confusion.

"That's your explanation?" I ask, bewildered at his attitude.

"Emily, you knew what I am before you got involved with me. You know I'm in a gang, you know I'm dangerous! Yet you still made me fall in love with you and then left me. I would never have hurt you, I was just doing a job."

My mouth hangs open from his words -

"I made you fall in love with me? I didn't make you do anything, you turd!" I yell, punching the couch cushion.

"You told me you didn't enjoy hurting people! You practically said yourself you wanted to leave the gang yet you're waltzing around with a flamin' gun, robbing clubs! I hate violence Jake! Actually scrap that. . . I despise it. I despise people who put fear in others, who abuse their power and belittle innocent people! You are just like Jones," I say painfully, clutching my forehead as I feel a strong headache brewing.

He's silent on the other end of the phone and I debate whether he's actually listening to me or not.

"Do you know how Jones ended up? Dead. That's the exact same way you'll end up Jake if you don't leave this cruel world you've got yourself wrapped into!" I pleade with him desperately, my eyebrows scrunched together in desperation.

"Please Jake, leave the gang. If not for me then do it for yourself. There has to be a way!" I pleade, a tear falling down my cheek. Several moments pass between us that are full of tense silence. I can hear him breathing heavily on the other end and when I close my eyes, it feels like he's lying beside me. Finally he speaks, his voice so quiet and innocent, I barely recognise it.

"I'll die if I leave Muffin."

I know he's crying silently on the other end. I inhale deeply, wanting to wrap him up in my arms and protect him from the life Amil has planned for him.

"You'll die if you stay," I respond softly before I heard a soft click on the other side.

He isn't listening anymore.

I drop the phone onto the floor and lie down, closing my eyes. My mind whirls with a thousand thoughts and I pray silently he'll listen to my words.