Chapter 136
**GWEN**
My mother’s face dropped in worry and she hastily scooted closer and placed her left hand on mine, bringing my attention back to her.
“Is this what you have been going through silently? Why didn’t you tell me at once?”
“Because I didn’t want you to worry, mother. What was I supposed to say? The Dr has different reasons why he thinks I can’t bear children but I recalled him saying something about duplicate genetics which I interpreted to be that I don’t have a wolf. But right now, I no longer know, Mother.”
“What does your husband have to say about this?”
I shrugged depressively. “Nothing. He seemed to not care but I’m still worried. I want my own child. I want to be able to carry my own baby, Mother. Is that too much to ask from the goddess after all I’ve been through?” My voice quivered, unrepressed tears pouring down my face.
Mother was fast to gather me in her arms and allowed me to sob out my heart. “It’s going to be okay, my child. Believe me, the goddess might already be at work.”
“I’m so scared, Mother.” My hand went around her. “I-I don’t want to lose Ashton. I love him very much. I didn’t know I could be able to love another this way after… Julian.”
Mother’s only response to that was to keep stroking my arm gently, using her left hand to caress the top of my hair. And to me, that was enough. This was part of the reasons I wished for my family. And I’m glad I didn’t obey Ashton and asked them to leave.
“You have us here now, baby. We are not going anywhere until this is over,” Mother proceeded in a tranquil ilk. “Julian and your sister might be returning to the pack by this weekend but your father and I will stay for as long as you can have us.”
“I don’t care if you move here, Mother. I’ve lived long enough without you.”
We stayed there till darkness covered, enjoying the serene river dance, and the noise of the fishes as they played within. I might be afraid of them, but right there, I relished their company with my mother.
By the time we made our way back in, my teeth were literally chattering from the cold. I bade Mother farewell at the interception that led to their quarters and forged on to my chamber.
I entered and locked the door, rushing to the wardrobe to discard my chilled dress and grab a double-drawn thicker garment to don. I rubbed my fingers together after wearing one of the thicker hideous brown nightwear I had which I rarely used. I went to the mirror while loosening my hair to apply oil and knot it properly for the night.
My eyes plastered on my features and halted in my movement. Truly my parlor looked sullen. My skin colour which was usually creamy and shiny now had a duller shade like I was sick. I touched the hallow in my neck and traced my finger down my collarbones which appeared prominent.
I had to go see the Dr one of these days, I think the mental stress was getting to me. Even my eyelids were sunken.
Phew!
This image was not given at all. I glanced out and picked up my oil, dragging the seat close to sit on as I massaged my loose hair down to my scalp, took a comb, and began striking through it.
By tomorrow I will be visiting the temple after which I will go visit the farmers again and end up at my friend’s place before coming home. During breakfast, I will inquire from Mom what they would like to do or where they would like to go.
The door rattled, garnering my attention. My eyes flickered there as it opened and Ashton peeked in hence his bulky body pushed in and he closed the door and stayed there for a beat peering at me.
I didn’t stop what I was doing even as my eyes didn’t leave him.
“I came before, you were not in,” He grunted, his hand finding the first button on his shirt to begin ridding of them. I rapidly looked away. I couldn’t bear the temptation despite being mad at him.
“I was out with my mother.”
“So Mousy said.” He dropped the shirt into the hampster and commenced on the belt of his pants which soon came off. “I-I want peace, Gwen.”
Instinctively like I was dying for it, my eyes found his through the mirror once more as I finished braiding my hair and dropped the comb on the table. My hand having naught to do, started tapping on the table. Nervously.
“I… I shouldn’t have asked you to tell your family to leave. I accept my bad.” He seemed nervous too. His eyes were minimized to puppy size. He was so adorable when he was trying to apologize. “I also accept I act out of turn sometimes. Out of jealousy of course.”
The corners of my lips quirked. I nearly cracked up at that. But maintained a stoic facade.
“You deserved better from me and I know I’m a better man than that prick!” His voice rose a notch but he sighed loudly and allowed his huge shoulders to bulk. “Sorry.”
My head fell, my eyes going to my lap. I craved to go to him and tell him I forgave him. I could possibly not forgive him when he looked like that. I understood a lot was going on right now, a lot that deserved us to keep our heads down as Charlotte said. It was not about us, but trusting our egoistic stupid hormones to keep floundering from the significant matters.
“Say something… do something,” He groaned. “You can even hit me if you want for being an ass.”
Unexpectedly, I let out a light giggle, and as fast as it came, l frowned back and zipped my lips into a thin line.Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.
He stood up, and my pulse quickened. My eyes of their volition flew to him, following his slow stride toward me. He reached in front of me, took my fingers that had stopped tapping on the table, and tried pulling me up.
At first, I was confused about what he was doing but soon found myself moving from the chair. The next thing, he tugged me in the direction of the sofa and collapsed on it, dropping me into his muscular lap.
My body became inflamed.
“You have to stop disrespecting me, Ashton,” I gathered the courage to say. It came out like a whisper, albeit I was proud I did say something.
His finger entwined with my right one and brought it to his lips to dip a chaste kiss. My inside knotted with instant need, my pussy becoming conscious of the hot male. At that point, for the first time, since I shifted, I felt my inner wolf come alive, yearning, pining for something more than just sitting on a lap.
“I promise to do better henceforth, my love.”
My eyes searched his for the truth. It wasn’t simply saying it, would he try to become better for me?
“And guess what?” He asked.
“What?”
He looked ahead as if reminiscing about something important to him. “That very day Williams died, we had a discussion. I promised him I was going to burn down everything that pertained to Emma. To show I was ready for new steps with you.” My stomach churned tighter I felt I was going to die.
“You will?”
He nodded.
“Williams would be buried this Friday. Arrangements have been made. I am going to have his ashes spread by his favourite beach. You can tell Abby she can come if she wants, I won’t force her back here. That’s my word. After that, I am heading to the beach house alone. I am ridding myself of everything that reminds me of her.”
“Oh, Ashton.” The last of my defence fell. I cupped his rugged chin full of ignored stubble and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. His eyes fluttered close and opened back when I tilted away. “That would mean a lot to me.”
I couldn’t wait to tell Abby about the burial too. I’m glad we would finally give Williams the rest he deserved.
“I want us to work, Gwen.” He whispered. “I want it so bad you don’t know how much.”
“Then why do you fight me?”
“Because I love you so much it hurts, don’t you get it?” Unwanted tears stoked the corners of my eyelids. “I once loved this way and it ended in pain, I am so scared of going down that lane again.”
“Ashton,” I crooned, my hands on his chin persistent. “If you do not see how much you mean to me, then you are a fool. I am the one scared of losing you. You have no idea how much I fear losing you, how I stay awake at night thinking I am not enough for a man like you. That you might wake up one day and hate me, and never want me again. Do you know how hard it is for me when we quarrel?” When your mistress attacked me? I didn’t say that part since the bitch was already secured away from the rest of us in rehab.
“I love you, Gwen, I mean it.” He took my face this time and kissed me deeply. “Ignore my antics, I’m a gone man.” Another kiss between small chuckles. My heart swelled.
Suddenly, I wanted more. While we kissed, I sat up and straddled him, flattening myself into him to deepen the kiss, to feel his majesty, the heat oozing from him, to become one with him.
“Show me how much.”
…