Leave Me Behind

We move through the west wing like we didn’t miss a beat together, silent and lethal. I pray that we won’t have to kill anyone. But I know if it comes down to it, we might not have a choice.

Our luck holds out as we slink through the last hall, but it ends abruptly when Paul and Drake turn the corner. I freeze, gun aimed up, finger caressing the trigger.

I’m not a monster anymore. Not when I know their dreams.

I set my hand on Bradshaw’s shoulder and he looks back at me. “Not them. They’re my guards.” His jaw flexes but he nods with understanding. I’m sure he saw them trailing me constantly. We squat low on our haunches and wait to see what they’ll do. For a while, they just linger in the hall and chat.

Please just keep moving. Don’t make us confront you.

An alarm rolls through the hall.

“Fuck. Sorry, Bun. We’ll have to⁠—”

“Wait, let me talk to them.” I rush to stand but Bradshaw grabs my wrist.

His voice is cold. “We don’t have time. If they resist… We have to get out. This is our only chance.” I nod and quickly step out into the hall.

Drake and Paul instantly raise their guns. I pull down my mask and run to them—their eyes cloud with uncertainty.

“Nell. What are you doing?!” Paul hisses and looks around quickly before leaning in closer. “Do you know what Jenkins will do if he finds out you’re trying to leave?”

“Jenkins isn’t here. We need to get out now. It’s my only chance. Please,” I beg them both. But I know they heard “we” more than anything else. Their heads snap up to Bradshaw, who cautiously approaches with his M16 drawn.

The two of them trace their guns on him. Sweat rolls down their foreheads.

“Jenkins is on his way back as we speak. He wanted to come back early to surprise you,” Drake drawls, glaring at me. Shit.

“You two can come with us. You want out, don’t you? This is your chance.”

“Bunny,” Bradshaw hisses, his finger trained on the trigger.

Their expressions are twisted. I know they won’t shoot me. Jenkins would kill them mercilessly.

“Let’s go,” I say dully and walk between the guns pointed at each other. Bradshaw hesitates before lowering his weapon and following. We run to the terrace without glancing back. I’m not sure what will happen to those two, but at least they didn’t do anything to stop us.

Bradshaw jumps down first and I trail him. The second my boots hit the ground, he mutters, “That was risky.”

“If they wanted to kill us, they would’ve,” I retort.

“They can tell the others what direction we went.” We sprint through the tall grass. The scent of the poppies in the field nearby tickles my nose.

I hope they don’t. But I know Jenkins can make quick work of getting information out of people.

Anxiety builds in my chest as a chopper flies above us, heading toward the fortress. I know it’s Jenkins and he’s about to return to chaos. How long would it take him to hunt me down? My stomach twists.

Bradshaw doesn’t look back at me as we slide down a muddy slope, but his voice is sure. “Don’t worry. We won’t let him take you.”

My brows pinch in confusion as we stand and start moving forward again.

“We?” I ask.

He stops and turns back to look at me. He pulls down his mask and gives me a grin that sets my heart on fire.

“Did you think we’d send our favorite psycho out here by himself, little bun-bun?” Jefferson steps out from the underbrush, his face completely smothered in mud for camouflage.

“Jobs?!” I let out an embarrassing squeal as I jump into his arms. He laughs and pats my head.

“Malum doesn’t leave their own behind,” Pete says proudly as he emerges from the bushes and rests his hand on my shoulder.

Harrison stands next to Jefferson and winks at me. “Miss us?”

Eren comes to Bradshaw’s side and offers me his hand. I stare at him for a moment. This is the man who planned on serving me to Jenkins on a silver platter—dead. He’s the reason all of this happened. But time has a way of killing anger.

“Bunny. It’s good to see you again,” he mutters softly, remorse and guilt laced in his voice.

I take his hand and smile. “Happy to be back, Sarge.”

He smiles at me before refocusing. “Well, let’s stop wasting time and get to the extraction point, soldiers!” he shouts, and we all fall into form. He shoots me a wicked grin before nodding at his brother.

We slide our night vision goggles on and move quickly through the dense forest. It doesn’t take long before we’re further into the mountains than I’ve been since our last mission. Northern Labrador is a treacherous place; the wild animals alone are terrifying.

The first hour is bliss. We make it a great distance before hearing the four-wheelers roar somewhere beyond the trees. My heart rate spikes but Bradshaw sets his hand on my shoulder, assuring me he’s right behind me.

One way or another, I’m leaving this place tonight.

I won’t go back to Jenkins again, even if it breaks my heart.

“It’s fine. They can’t drive those things on this terrain. The woods are too thick.” Jobs says just above a whisper.

I nod and try to focus on not tripping as we scale down a rocky hillside.

“How far to the extract point?” I ask as Harrison offers me his hand to help me down the slope. He lifts his night vision goggles as the moon emerges and looks into my eyes. I forgot how his perfect nose pissed me off when we first met, his blond hair still as soft and smooth as before.

“About four more klicks south. We got lucky that Eren has a buddy in Canada—” Harrison’s head is thrown back with the force of a bullet. His blood coats my face and his hand is violently torn from mine.

“Harrison!” My shriek echoes through the small valley. Bradshaw is already forcing me forward away from our fallen comrade.

“Shots fired!” Jefferson shouts and we collectively sprint for the next grouping of trees.

I glance back at Harrison’s still body. My stomach lurches, but I swallow the bile that rises. Don’t let his death be for nothing. I force my legs to move faster. The branches whip at us as we crash through the underbrush.

Eren leads with surety and sets a ruthless pace. A few more shots ring distantly through the treetops. I hope it wasn’t for Harrison.

After two klicks, Eren slows down and has us group up in the cover of low-bearing trees. He speaks quickly and with ragged breaths. “We have to cross the plains to reach the extraction point. Jenkins wasn’t supposed to be back this early, so we might have mines in the valley and air trouble. I want everyone tight and focused.” He looks from Jefferson to Pete, me, and then Bradshaw. There’s pain in his eyes for Harrison not being here. “There’s no way out if we miss that chopper.”

I nod gravely.

They came back for me. One is already dead for it.

When we reach the edge of the treeline, our feet slow. Eren raises his fist and we stop at his signal. He listens for the four-wheelers.

Bradshaw moves to stand beside his twin. Their shoulders move heavily with each breath and they share a hushed conversation.

“He refused to let you go,” Pete says sadly as he repositions his M16 to give his hand a break. I nod, not breaking my trance on Bradshaw.

Jefferson chuckles, but his tone isn’t happy. “He would’ve come alone if he had to.”

My throat tightens. It must tear them up inside that we left Harrison’s body back there. “I’m sorry about Harrison.”

They lower their heads.

“Bunny, stay by my side while we move out there,” Bradshaw mutters as he turns his attention to me and offers his hand.

“Stay vigilant,” I say to Pete and Jefferson. They offer uncertain grins but nod.

“You too, Bunny.”

I move to Bradshaw’s side and firm my trembling hands over my gun. We could easily all die out here.

“Hey, we’re going to be okay.” Bradshaw pulls me close to him and he presses a sweet kiss on my cheek. I try to nod, but it’s weak.

Eren stares down at me and hardens his gaze. “There’s no reality in which I don’t get you two out of here. I have sins to pay for and you’re first on my list.” He smiles at me and taps my forehead. “For what it’s worth, I always did like you.”

My brows knit and I give him a small smile back. “Right back at you, Sarge.”

The clouds shroud the moon and darkness falls over us like a blanket of mist. “No matter what happens out there we’ll always be connected. Should this be our last mission together, know I’ve never worked with finer soldiers.” Eren’s voice is reminiscent and for the first time since meeting him, I see fear flash through his eyes. Regret for the past, and perhaps hope for what remains of his underground squad to be free.

Jefferson and Pete step closer, setting their hands on his shoulder. Bradshaw sets his hand over theirs. I place mine on Eren’s chest and a flicker of sorrow threads across his features.

“We’ll get out, Sarge,” Jefferson says quietly. Pete and Bradshaw nod confidently.

Eren shuts his eyes and smiles before nodding. “Let’s go.”

The valley is sloped and barren. The second our feet leave the safety of the forest my heart rate increases and thrums wildly in my chest. It’s still quiet out here, but who’s to say how long that will last. Jenkins is a smart man with many resources. I have no doubts that he knows exactly where our extraction point likely is and how to cut us off.

Bradshaw flanks my right while Eren moves stealthily to my left. It’s the exact same way I met them, with me between.

“Wait!” Bradshaw snaps as he stops on his heels. We halt beside him. I search the ground for any IEDs but don’t see any.

“What do you see, Bones?” Eren asks before I can. His eyes narrow on the horizon.

“Movement on the right, close to the riverbank, and the ground has been disturbed just ahead.” Bradshaw keeps his eyes trained on the riverbank. My stomach sinks when Eren nods that he sees movement too.

Pete curses and lifts his gun. “I’ve got bad news, Sarge. Four hostiles to our left,” he says under his breath.

“Fuck.” Eren hesitates and looks around us, trying to think of the best way forward. “We’ll need to move single file and far apart. If an IED goes off… at least we won’t be bunched together.”

“Sarge, they’ll be able to pick us off easily if we fan out,” Jefferson interjects, but Eren shakes his head with finality.

“I’ll go first,” I say firmly, swallowing my fear and stepping forward. They all share a look before Bradshaw gives me a stern look.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“Like I’d let you.” He shoulders past me and all the unease in my chest doubles. Eren gives his brother a sharp glare before leading the way.

“Like I would let either of you guide us through hell. We need to keep moving. They haven’t spotted us yet but that can change at any second. I have the best eyes of us all. I won’t step on one.” Eren doesn’t sound as confident as I need him to.

But it doesn’t matter what I say. We’re already moving. Bradshaw takes slow, purposeful strides across the rugged terrain behind his brother. I wait a few beats before starting behind him. Pete flanks me and Jefferson takes up the back.

I stare at the back of Bradshaw’s heels as they lift and move. We’re three-quarters of the way across the valley when Eren steps down and a distinct sound tears through my soul.

Click.

My eyes flash up, wide with horror.

The sky is angry behind Eren’s form. His gentle smile trembles with the promise of death. Bradshaw tries to run forward, but I grab his shoulders.

“Walk around me, slowly. Come on, it’s okay.” Eren orders, his voice sharp. Pete and Jefferson pass us and walk ahead at a steady pace. Each nods their respect to our sergeant silently. Somehow, the weight of the lack of words makes my chest twist more.

Bradshaw takes one staggered step and then stops, his entire body trembling. “I can’t go on without you,” he chokes as tears stream down his cheeks. “Not without you, Eren.”

“Look at me,” Eren says softly. Bradshaw looks up at him and Eren makes an effort to seem calm. “I’m fine. But I need you two to get the fuck going. I love you. Both of you. Now go.” His tone is desperate. I’ve never seen those deep blue eyes so weary, tears brimming and his jaw trembling to hold back the emotions.

Bradshaw slowly moves past his brother, taking one last look over his shoulder before walking straight.

I stop at Eren’s side and tears fall like drops of rain from my soul.

“I’ll take care of him, Eren,” I promise. His eyes shift with peace and he taps my forehead gently. His fingers feel so cold it makes my heart twist.

“I know you will.” I hold onto his gentle voice and the way it wraps around my heart.

My teeth chatter as I force my legs to move away from him. Bradshaw is already out of the field, with Pete and Jefferson at his side. I reach them and together we continue down the sloped valley, stealing last glances at our sergeant alone in the minefield.

By the time the sound of an explosion rings through the quiet, dark mountains, our eyes have dried and my body jerks painfully in response to the sharp, echoing blast.

No one speaks.

Bradshaw’s shoulders shake with his silent cry. We keep marching forward without Eren.