Holding on to you

With the sweat and the sweet scent of our lovemaking rolling off of my skin, I fall onto Killian, his hands automatically encircling my waist. My head was rested on his chest as I listened to the hypnotic sound of his heart beating, I loved it. It was the most peaceful thing about him, the only thing about that I thought was pure.

His fingers were making weird patterns on my back which was kinda comforting. I snuggled up closer to him, with my head tucked under his chin. A deep sleep was drawing me in and I was happily succumbing to it.

“Open those beautiful eyes baby, we have to be at school in forty-five minutes.”

I groaned at the mention of the word school. I didn’t want to ever go back, I’ve been avoiding the place ever since I found out that my parents were murders, and that was two weeks ago. Furthermore, I’ve been avoiding everyone in my life. The only calls I answered in two weeks were my brothers.

I was glad that they were safe and staying with distance cousins of my father who were no way involved in any criminal activities of any sort. They were worried about me and were kicking themselves for leaving me behind, but I told them I was safe and not to worry.

“Can I just not go?”

“Red, you may not ever have to worry about money ever again in your life, but I still want you to be educated to the fullest, and that means finishing high school and going to college.”

That was very sweet of him, but I still felt like ditching school and living the poor life. to be honest, I didn’t want to have to answer all the questions that I know would be thrown my way, mostly by my best friend and ex-boyfriend. I sure as hell didn’t know how I was going to explain the big ass rock that was adorning my finger.

“I still vote for being uneducated.”

I heard him chuckled, then the next thing I knew I was lying flat on my back with him between my thigh. I started laughing but it was caught in my throat as I saw that look in his eyes that I knew all too well.

“If we stay in this bed I can’t promise I won’t hurt you, I can’t promise you won’t feel pain, but I can promise that you will enjoy every moment of it.”

I gulped, unable to looking away from his eyes that were putting me into a trance. His pupils dilated, turning the pale green two shades darker. I should tell him no, that I was ready to go to school and suck up all the education that is there like a whore giving out her Friday night special. I should have hopped my ass up off of that bed like the devil himself was after me, but I just stayed there, caught in the hypnotic trap his eyes set for me.

“If I kiss you, red, it’s game over. I’ll have what I want and your cute ass will still have to go to school even if we are late.”

Like an idiot, I just stared. I was screaming at myself in my head to get the f**k up, but my body refused to move. it was like my body was taken over by some strange entity.

Oh, my freaking god! I think I’m being possessed by a slut. How in the name of all baboon butts did that happen?

I watched with a mixture of terror and excitement as his lips made a slow descend to mine. The spell I was under was broken and the slut was cast away as he blinked, breaking his hold over me.

“I’ll go to school!”

I quickly got out, but his lips were already on mine.

“Too late, Red.”

His lips took mine in a frantic kiss and his hand moved above my head. The next thing I felt was my hands being raised and handcuffed to the bed frame. I’ve learnt that protesting just made it worse, it was better to let him do whatever he wanted and hope that he doesn’t leave any visual bruises.

He slowly pulled away from my mouth and got off the bed. My eyes followed his naked body as he walked over to the drawer that I have come to see as my enemy. I watch as he pulled out a candle and a few other things. He then walked in the walk-in closet to retrieve something. I saw him return with one of his ties.

He made his way back over to me and gently tied the tie around my eyes like a blindfold. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous and scared as hell. With Killian I never knew what to expect, it’s always something different with him, but whatever it was it was always painful.

I stayed still on the bed as he moved around, I was preparing myself for what was to come, but when I felt the first burning pain, I screamed.

I can’t believe this motherf**ker is burning me with candle wax! What in the name of porn is this, Fifty Shades of Grey?

All the attention and all the eyes that were cast my way was worse than being burned by a candle. Wait, what am I saying? Scratch that nothing is worse than being burnt by candles, shit hurt like a bitch in heat.

It was the second period when we finally made it to school. We almost didn’t make it, but when Killian finish trying to get me to not feel the pain (which I might add was unsuccessful) I jumped from that bed so fast you’d think I had superpowers. I was showered and dressed in record time.

I was hoping that we make it to school when everyone was in class, but no such luck. Most of the students were in the hall at their lockers changing over books for their next class. So, as Killian and I walked in everyone turned to look at us, making me feel like a turkey on display at the farmers’ market.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

Shock stares and whispers were sent my way and I tried my best to ignore it, but it was hard, especially when they were saying it loud enough for me to hear.

“OMG, it’s that Jason’s girl?”

“What’s she going with Killer?”

“Just another whore who decided that spreading her legs is the way to go about life.”

“He’s just going to f**k her and dump her like he did to the others, she’s nothing special.”

Most of what people were saying was pretty hurtful, but I tried not to let it bother me. I could also feel Killian tensed up beside me, and the hand he was holding was in a death grip.

He looked at me and his eyes narrowed to a deadly level when he saw that I was crying. Stopping right there in the middle of the hall in front of everyone he wipes my tears away. I was stunned.

“No one should make you cry,” he leaned down close to my ears, “That pleasure is reserved for only me.”

Before I could say anything, he placed a quick kiss on my lips then pulled away to address to students and whoever else was in the hall.

“I’m only going to say this once, so listen carefully. If any of you make Red cry intentionally or unintentionally you’ll have me to answer to, that is a promise.”

Everyone was looking just as shocked as I felt, but the look that was coming from the locker two doors down from mine was one of hurt, anger and betrayal.

I sucked in a breath and moved to go to Jason, but I was held back my Killian.

“Red, you don’t want to do that, baby.”

Jason watched me for a few more seconds before he slammed his locker door and stormed off. My eyes welled up and try as I might I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

Killian stepped in front of me, blocking my view of Jason. I looked up at him and I regretted it. The anger I saw there could have lit an entire country for years and years to come. He turned and glanced in Jason’s direction then back at me.

“You’re crying?”

Eh, no inspector gadget, rain is falling from my brain.

Well, I didn’t tell him that, I just shook my head to deny it.

“And you’re lying to me.”

He let go of my hands and stormed off after Jason like a madman on a mission. I looked around but the hall was mostly clear except for my best friend who was watching me with a strange look on her face.

I didn’t know what to say to her, I opened my mouth to apologise for ignoring her but she raised her hand to stop me.

“Save it for later, you better go after your possessive boyfriend before he kills Jason.”

Upon hearing that my heart skipped a beat and my feet flew into action and I found myself running. I barely reached in time to see Killian dragging Jason into an empty classroom, I followed behind them.

“Killian, please don’t hurt him.”

He turned and looked at me with hate-filled eyes.

“You beg for his life Red, you do know what that will cost you?”

I nodded my head and he seemed to get angrier. I know that he still didn’t want to let Jason go, but I pleaded harder because of the scared confused look on Jason’s face.

“Please, please, I’ll do anything, just let him go.”

That seemed to really piss him off but, he eventually let him go. Jessy rushed over to Jason and helped him to his feet, I was grateful but slightly suspicious because they looked way too comfortable in each other’s arms.

“You’re a freaking psycho!”

Jessy yelled at Killian who cast her a murderous look. She squeaked but held her ground against him.

“You think you’re some big, bad scary guy, ok maybe you are big, bad and scary, but that doesn’t mean that I’m afraid of you… Well, I’m might be afraid of you just a tiny bit. Who the hell am I kidding, I’m scared shitless of you but I still think you’re an ass and a bully and you don’t deserve my best friend. Why can’t you be a normal boyfriend to her instead of a possessive jerk.”

I was very proud of her that I felt like clapping, but since I couldn’t it out loud I did it mentally. Killian’s hand was around my waist so fast, pulling me to his side. He ignored my best friend and stared at Jason.

“Let’s get one thing straight motherf**ker, Red doesn’t belong to you, she never did. Cherish the two years and a half you had with her, and thank your lucky stars that I allowed you to have her for that long…”

What the Jimmy Choo is he talking about?

“… But, if I ever see you around her again or looking at her I will f**k you up.”

He walked closer to Jason.

“Stay the f**k away from my wife, you hear me? SHE’S MINE!”

Jessy jumped back and hid behind Jason, all of her bravado committing suicide. I would have rolled my eyes if the situation wasn’t serious. I saw both my best friend and my ex-boyfriend look at me then to my finger that was displaying my ring. I wanted to down my head in shame, but I couldn’t even do that because Killian was watching me with keen eyes.

I could tell that they wanted to say something too but decided that remaining quiet was safer.

“Now, get the f**k out, both of you!”

Jason looked like he wanted to stay, but Jessy dragged him out. Killian walked over to the door and locked it behind them. He slowly turned and look at me, making me squirm, then he started stalking towards me. with every step he took towards me I took one away from him until I found myself backed into a corner with no escape.

With one swift movement, he was upon me.

“What the f**k was that all about, Red, you still pining over that little shit?”

He didn’t give me a chance to answer his question, instead, he grabbed me and pushed up against the wall, knocking the wind clean out of me. As I tried to catch my breath, he gripped the front of my shirt and tore it apart. I felt so exposed because I wasn’t wearing a bra.

I tried to cover myself but my hands were grabbed and pushed forcefully over my head, then banged against the wall. Pain shot through them and travelled to my soul.

“You think about him when I’m deep inside of you, f**king you?”

I frantically shook my head from side to side, but he just ignored me. I gasped when he squeezed my breast hard.

“You think you were ever his? Well, think again, Red, you were always MINE!”

He grabbed my other breast the same way.

“I’ll tell you a secret, I was the one who gave you your first kiss.”

Although I was in pain I managed to give him a confused look because I didn’t know what he was talking about. Jason was the one who gave me my first kiss. He laughed at my confusion.

“Remember that party on your fifteenth birthday, the one your friends dragged you to?”

I nodded my head.

“Well, I was there and it was me you were kissing at the back of my car, it was me you almost f**ked.”

I gasped because I always thought that it was Jason. I was so drunk that night that only parts of what happened remained in my memory the next day, and I just assumed that since I only remembered the kiss that I’d never kiss anyone else but Jason.

Killian leaned in until his lips were grazing my ear, sending chills down my entire body. he whispered,

“It was my fingers that f**ked you for almost half of the night. I had you, Red, right where I wanted you, but I knew you weren’t ready. Your tiny body wasn’t ready for what I wanted to do to it, but I couldn’t let you go without taking something for myself.”

I was shaking from his confession.

“See, I didn’t just give you your first kiss, I also gave you your first orgasm. And Red, you taste like strawberries, sweetest f**king thing I’ve ever tasted in my life.”

I didn’t know if I felt violated by what he said or freaked out. but he didn’t give me a chance to analyse my feelings further because he pulled me away from the wall and bend me over the desk.

“Get one thing through that brain of yours, my beautiful red hair vixen, you have and will always be mine!”

He pushed my skirt up and ripped my panties off. He stood behind me, between my thighs, pushing my legs apart with his knees.

“Now, spread those legs for me, let me take what’s mine, but I can guarantee that it will be anything but pleasant. I’ve been too soft on you lately, I think it’s time I get back on track and show you who you belong to, who owns you. Fun time is over, baby.”

Throughout it all, I just whimpered like the coward I was, but I outright screamed when he slammed into me with no warning. His hand quickly covered my mouth muffled the sounds.

I didn’t know who I hated more at that moment, him for being a hateful monster, or myself for believing that he could change.