48: Encountering him once again
48: Encountering him once again
I expected Alexander to say something but not what came out next from his mouth. He was different not because the cloak he put on seemed too big on his frame but the gaze he ran across my features.
His look was so intense while I stood rooted to the spot, too shocked to utter even a single sentence. This wasn't how I imagined our reunion to turn out.
The letters. He sounded like he truly wanted me back for everything he did to me. Or was that a farce to get me back? I secretly wondered if what Ryven said was true about Alexander only wanting me back because of what I was. This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
As much as I tried not to feel the hurt as it slowly climbed up my heart while I stared at Alexander with my mouth agape, I knew somehow my instincts had to be true.
I didn't know I had been staring for so long without blinking until I felt my eyes water from the lack of shutting them for so long.
"I don't understand," I said as I stood rooted to the spot, unable to move any of my limbs. Was he for real or was he trying to play a big joke on me?
I knew the answer from the look in his eyes. They were the eyes of someone who hadn't slept a wink. They were bloodshot and tired. But the intensity they carried could be unrivaled by none.
He sneered and walked closer to me. But with each step he took, I could feel my heart thunder loudly in my chest. Was this the man I had craved to see all day long? He wasn't worth it, not when he looked at me like the way he looked at me when he rejected me. The thoughts came without warning, flooding me with so much force I had to take a step back.
"You wanted me. You asked for me and this is how you welcome me?" I choked.
He halted, "I stopped asking for you a long time ago because you felt you were too big to get back," he laughed, the sound dry and without mirth. "You said Alpha Ryven treated you well. Then why did you run over?"
I furrowed my brows, unable to comprehend what he was saying. Or maybe I was too blinded by my hurt and rage to think clearly at that point but to yell at him.
"I didn't do that! And if this is how you plan on treating me while I'm here, I might as well leave," I barked, breathing heavily from the outburst. He smiled again. But this time, they almost did reach his eyes. I thought that was what I saw until his face hardened again, the lines more prominent, making him look older than he was.
"And where would you go?" He asked and all my rants died on my lips. I haven't thought about that.
I haven't given the thought of the possibility of Alexander not wanting me. I had been foolish enough to trust him the second time to accept me back. The question stung so much that I felt tears gather at the back of my eyes. I was a fool again.
"It doesn't matter. Why do you even care? I know you will be glad to let me go. If you didn't care about me, you would have sent word out."
"I didn't. Because I wanted to see how much ego had gotten in you to talk to your Alpha in such a way," he said and I glared hard at him. "What? I know I'm right. Or didn't Ryven treat you like a queen?"
I sneered trying to hide the fact that his words stung. "He treated me well. Unlike Dianne," I said and I felt the intensity of his gaze increase a hundredfold in the dark room.
It was a wonder I was able to see so clearly in the room. It had something to do with my wolf. And even if I didn't want him to see the hurt in my eyes, I knew he could see it.
It couldn't be hidden not with the way he spat out that he only wanted to see my ego. From what I know, I didn't have an ounce of pride. Or did I? I internally tried to evaluate myself. Damn him for doing that to me.
For making me want to run into his arms and perceive all of him. I wanted him to fill me in on what happened while I was gone. But most importantly, I wanted him to tell me how much he missed me.
They were mere wishes I knew wouldn't come true as I watched him turn his back to me, walked back to the window, and began looking outside. Or deep in thought. I didn't know. But I did not have enough time to ponder on it or his last words because his words broke through the tense air.
"You should go back to him. You are mated to him already so there's no need to be here," he stopped and I clenched my clothes in hate. "I'm not going to war over you," he completed his words and I stiffened.
I had totally forgotten about the bite mark on my neck. Was that why he was acting this way? Was it jealousy? As much as I wanted to open my mouth and ask him the question, I couldn't. I also wanted to believe that was what was happening. He was jealous.
Even the thought of it was unreal just like we were. I was rejected and to my horror, got back to the one who rejected me to be rejected twice.
"Is that all you can say?"
"Yes, go back to him. Those letters were a mistake,' he said, his voice rough and riddled with a bit of emotion. But apart from that, I couldn't detect emotion in his voice.
It was like he had intentionally locked them away and thrown the key away. I wanted him to say something to hint that he missed me. I clung to the hope while I watched his back.
"Please," he begged after the silence stretched between us. The sound of his voice was louder but no louder than the sound of my heart breaking in my ears.
Didn't he even care I had nowhere to go? I tried to believe him, to believe his words but that stupid little part of me didn't, it couldn't.
"Are you banishing me?" I stood still, the silence of the room almost making me pass out. I haven't moved a step from where I stood when I got into the room nor have I taken my eyes off the man my heart beats for.
"Anyhow you see it," there was resignation in his voice now. I couldn't let him see how much those words affected me.
Or how much I was humiliated. Where would I even go? I had no idea. It seemed like everything I worked for came crashing down. Where was the woman who walked into the pack house moments ago, ready to take what belonged to her?
She left as soon as she set eyes on the man who had always made her smile even if she was unwilling to admit it to herself.
I turned around and headed for the door even though all the cells in me begged to turn around and tell Alexander everything I went through. That would be me being weak. The last thing I wanted was for Alexander to peg me as a weak person after brandishing me unworthy.
A million questions hung in the air while I strode out of the door with heavy footsteps and my heart was shattered on the floor.
I couldn't take it with me after it had been shattered beyond repair. It wouldn't have broken into pieces if the knowledge that Alexander is likely mated to Dianne now. But that failed to explain the expression she had on her face when she saw me.
It was shock and fear instead of hate - The one emotion I had come to accept from her. She was supposed to hate me for coming back and taking what she thought belonged to her.
If only I had succeeded in doing so, my limbs wouldn't have felt like jelly. And I wouldn't have bumped into a rock-hard chest.
"Careful," the owner of the voice cautioned, his hands around my waist, preventing me from crashing down and experiencing double humiliation.
"Thank you," I said, my voice hoarse from all the emotions that died down along with my heart. In its stead was numbness.
I was too absorbed in my grief to look up and properly thank the person who prevented me from falling. But that stopped when I heard his voice again.
"Sophia?" It was a voice that carried shock. And hope. And something else - joy. I never thought anyone would be happy to see me given what I was in the pack. I looked up to see Orion looking at me, mouth hung agape before a huge grin split up his face.
He enveloped me in a surprising bear hug. "You're back. I was almost about to come drag you from that bas… Ryven's pack," he gushed and I smiled. I couldn't help it. His happiness was contagious.
"I didn't realize we were this close," I joked and he released me quickly when he realized he was holding me in a hug for too long.
The smile was still plastered on my face while I looked up at him. He didn't change a bit. Just like I remembered except for the lines on his forehead which were more prominent. From stress or something else.
He held my hand, "Come let me show you to your room."
"I can't," I dug my heels into the floor, stopping us from going further. He looked at me, his eyes holding confusion.
"I can't stay here. Alexander doesn't want me," I said the last sentence with my face beet red from shame. But he continued looking at me like I had two heads, his hand still wrapped around my hand.
"You're joking," he said and I looked him dead in the eyes to show how serious I was. Why would I joke with that kind of thing?
He ran his hand through his hair and laughed, "Alexander is a proud fool. He hasn't been himself since you left." His gaze went to my neck. "I know it's because of that. I was about to tell him what really happened between you and Ryven."
"What do you mean?"
"Isn't it obvious? Xander is jealous," he shrugged like it was no big deal while my blood froze in my veins. No, Alexander couldn't be jealous. Orion had to be lying.