Brothers of Paradise Series

Turner might be visiting. The idea makes my stomach turn. I know I have no leg to stand on-no reason to be jealous-but damned if I’m not regardless.

I open the gate, now in pristine condition, and walk up to her front door. It takes Lily three excruciating minutes to open the front door, and when she does, she looks at me like I’m her least favorite person.

I’m pretty sure she’s debating whether she should hit me or hug me.

“Hello,” I say.

She studies me suspiciously. “What are you here to fix today? My mailbox?”

“Not today, no. But I noticed that it could use another coat of paint.”

Lily narrows her eyes. “Hayden, I don’t think-”

“I came to ask you to take a walk with me. Along the beach.” I gesture behind me, where the sound of the waves beckons. It’s a melody I had missed.

I can see the fight in her eyes. She’s angry with me, and she’s hesitant, but a part of her wants to. Say yes, I beg her internally. Let me make things right.

“Or have you become too comfortable in your old age? I once remember a girl who dared me to climb trees and dive to the bottom of the pier.”

Her eyes flash, just like I expected them to, like I’ve seen so many times before. “Oh, shut up, Hayden,” she hisses. “Give me a minute.”

When she returns, she’s pulled on an oversize sweater and stuck her feet in a pair of loafers. The summer dress she’s wearing underneath leaves her legs, lightly freckled and tan from the summer sun, bare.

“Did you go out on the Catalina today?” she asks as soon as we step out onto the beach. The sand is hard packed below our feet, making for a pleasant walk. With the sun about to set, I know we’re going to have a view for the ages.

“Yes. It’s a beautiful boat.”

She nods, and I wonder if she’s been on Turner’s boat before. The thought turns my stomach to lead. If he regularly takes her out and kisses her under the open sky, with waves all around them, alone for all the world.

I know I would.

Silence settles between us again. It’s not heavy, but it’s not exactly comfortable, either. Once upon a time she was the only thing in my world that made sense-the only person I was comfortable with. My anchor and my wings, all in one.

“I’ve missed this,” I say. “The beach and the sailing. I never knew I’d love the ocean before I came to Paradise Shores.”

“You took to it fast,” she says. “Do you still know how to shuck oysters? How to eat lobster?”

“Of course. I had a great teacher.”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly let you embarrass yourself.”

“Thank you. Your pity is duly noted.”

She smiles faintly, shaking her head. “I never pitied you, dumbass.”

“No, of course not.”

“And if I did, it was only because you were too brooding for your own good. ‘Oh, look how cool I am with my dark hoodies and my refusal of organized sports.'”

“You’re right,” I say, a smile hovering around my lips. “As opposed to your incredible prowess in lacrosse.”

Lily punches me softly. The motion rocks through me, sending shivers down my arm. The setting sun has set her hair on fire, and it’s a beautiful halo around her face. The smile on her face is everything I’ve dreamed of for years.

“That’s a low blow, Cole. You know exactly why I barred you from ever watching me practice.”

“Well, you know I’ve never been one for rules.”

“No, clearly.”

“You don’t play anymore, I take it? Never went pro?”

Lily pushes me firmly this time, sending me two steps away. I dance back, trying to keep the smile off my own face. I can’t believe I’m with her again like this. “Are you still thirteen?” I ask her. “What’s next, will you splash me?”

Lily laughs. “Only if you pull on my ponytail.”

She means it in a teasing way, but my mind is suddenly filled with the vision of my hands in her hair. Wrapped around my wrist, tugging, or slipping through my fingers as she moans my name.

“You wish,” I say. My voice is just a little breathless.

“I’d forgotten just how much of a pain you were, Hay.”

“I’d forgotten how prickly you could be. And just how fun it is to provoke you.”

She shoots me a small smile, but it turns thoughtful. When she speaks again, all the playfulness is gone from her voice. The reprieve-the time we could be our fun selves-is over.

Lily’s voice sharpens. “Ten years is a long time.”

“It is,” I agree, gazing down at her bare legs, at the faint trace of a limp as she walks. Seeing it never fails to bring the guilt to the surface. “Did you need a lot of physical therapy? After the accident?”

She whimpers, shielding her face from view, and I’m struck dumb. Is she crying? I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’d hoped she would be okay with it. She didn’t remember much from the incident itself, after all.

But then she breaks into laughter. It’s not entirely a happy sound. “Is that your solution? Hayden, are we going to rehash everything that happened after you left? Month for month, year for year?”

“Well, no. We’d need a longer beach, for one. And I don’t plan on keeping you out all night.”

“Good. I have work tomorrow.”

“I need to know, though. Will you tell me?”

She sighs, and shakes her head, but humors me. “It took three months of daily sessions. I continued with it in college. I did a lot of yoga the years following, some one-on-one work with a personal trainer. The leg hasn’t bothered me for years now.”

Something squeezes inside me with every word. She talks about it casually, as if it’s not the greatest single mistake of my life. As if I don’t owe the universe or God or anything my own life in thanks for not taking hers that night.

“You had to put in a lot of work,” I say.

“I’m alive, and I’m fully mobile. We both know we got lucky that night. There’s no need to dwell on it for my sake.”

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