Love, Milo

I carry the dead raccoon in a trash bag and into the garbage bin outside the garden gate.  

Raelynn seemed upset that it was dead. It confuses me; isn’t that what she wanted in the first place? For it to be gone?

It was going to die either way, unfortunately. It had rabies.

I walk back into the greenhouse to find her brushing the dirt into a pile on the floor, scooping it up with her hands, and placing it back into the flowerpots. A broken flowerpot that the raccoon must’ve dropped sits on the floor. She bends down to grab the pieces with her bare hands.

Does she have a damn death wish?

‘Raelynn,’ I walk to her and touch her shoulder, but I say it too late. The piece she picks up slips from her grasp, cutting her palm just as I hoped it wouldn’t. She hisses, curses, and clamps her other hand around the wound. I watch the blood seep down her wrist, and I huff.

‘How do you manage to keep yourself alive, love? I’ve been around you for an hour today, and you’ve nearly had a raccoon kill you, and then you slice your hand open.’

I grab a rag from one of the benches and walk to her pained face as she sits on the floor. With her good hand, she brushes several curls out of her face and behind her ear, then shakes her head.

‘It’s just a little scratch, it’s nothing,’ she lies as a drop of blood falls to the floor.

I hold her hurt hand, cupping it in mine and lowering it, walking her along to the bench where I tell her to sit. She does so, surprisingly.

I plop down on the floor in front of her, and her eyes widen, staring at my trousers. ‘Your clothes—’

‘I don’t care about my clothes. I think your bleeding is more important than the material getting dirty. Don’t you think?’ Why does she worry about my clothes so much? ‘Besides, my trousers are black.’

She laughs as I dab the cloth on her wound, soaking up the blood, making sure she doesn’t flinch. ‘Trousers?’

‘What? They’re called that, aren’t they?’ I glance up at her smile. It brightens up her face, the first smile I’ve seen from her.

When she speaks, I also notice the piercing on her tongue shimmer. It catches my gaze occasionally, like a star hidden in her mouth, calling for my attention. The small metal ball towards the tip of her tongue glistens under the hanging light above. I find myself wondering how it feels for it to be in your mouth. What does the metal feel like against your teeth?  Is it cold?

‘And it’s— Are you listening to me?’

Shit, she was speaking.

I raise my eyebrows, looking back at her eyes. ‘I blanked out. What did you say?’

She huffs. ‘I said trousers is a funny word. Why don’t you say pants?’

‘Pants,’ I snort. ‘It’s such a strange word for trousers.’

She chuckles with one small huff as I continue cleaning her hand of the blood. A smile grows on my face at my success in making her laugh.

‘You’re strange, Milo,’ is all she says.

I furrow my brows, pausing my hand to stare up at her. ‘Is that a good thing or a bad thing?’

She pauses. Her throat bobs as she swallows, and her eyes rake me up and down to hold my eye contact when she eventually answers, ‘I don’t know yet.’

A moment of silence passes, and then she breaks our gaze and takes her hand back hastily, standing up. My smile drops, and so does a little something in me when I see her visibly close off from me. And there it is—that wall she holds so high, now stronger than ever. The wall that was beginning to sway was now finding its balance. The long book of Raelynn Garcia shuts closed, yet so many chapters are left to read.

She clears her throat and walks outside the greenhouse.

I huff, get to my feet, and follow her out.

I might as well skip gym days and spend them with her from now on. I’ll burn the same number of calories from how much walking she does.

Outside, the sun is on the verge of setting, an orange tint dressing the sky. Soft, warm breezes travel through the leaves and grass of the small land. Various flowers scatter the outside garden, ranging from tulips to roses and many other flowers I don’t know the name of. She spends her free time here—getting dirty and caring for plants. In a city where people are always on the go, with no time to spare or care to give. A city where looking your best is ideal, and anything less drags you down the social ladder. It’s safe to say she’s a breath of fresh air. I spot a squirrel running down a tree, and then I spot Raelynn wrapping a bandage around her hand. She stands beside a table, and I start towards her.

She eyes me and grabs her purse, hanging it off her shoulder.

‘You’re leaving?’ I question.

‘Yes, because I came here to occupy myself without distraction, and I’m not getting that. I might as well go home.’

She grabs my coat, and I take it from her, sliding it over my shirt, spotted with soil. It’s the dirtiest I’ve been in a while.

‘If you wanted me to leave, you could’ve just—’

‘Raelynn!’ A woman’s voice breaks my sentence. It’s higher in pitch than Raelynn and more annoying, making my face askew.

I turn my head to the voice just as Raelynn shuts her eyes. ‘Fuck me,’ she whispers.

Okay— no. Fuck off, brain.

I look at the woman standing beside the front gate; she’s tanned-skinned, with braids in her hair, and a man stands at her side. The woman grins widely and waves at me.

‘Are you Milo?’ She shouts.

I go to speak just when Raelynn steps in front of me, lifting onto her toes and wrapping her arms around my neck. I jerk down at her action, and my eyes widen as she presses her body against mine. I’m starting to question if something might be wrong with her, but no. She’s here draping over me, so close, purposefully.  My lips part, eyes darting between both of hers. Brown. There’s so much of her beautiful brown right in my grasp. My hands shake as I rest them on the curve of her waist.

Oh, fuck.

She holds a hand full of my hair at the top of my head and lowers me just an inch away from hers. I grip her hips to balance. I’m afraid my knees might buckle below me if I don’t.

‘What are you doing?’ I whisper.

She presses her lips together, swallowing. ‘Just… go with it.’ She lifts her head and kisses me.

My breath cuts off at the feeling of her lips against mine, soft and plump. Nothing today could have prepared me for this. I am unsure what I’d done that might’ve made me deserving of her lips. If electricity could shoot from her mouth and down every nook and cranny of my body, this is exactly how I imagine it feels. I stiffen and squeeze her hips in my hand, pressing myself harder against her.

I forget there are people around us, the sidewalk is visible, and anyone can walk past and see us. I forget about the woman and man standing meters away and that I only met Raelynn a few days ago.

The only thing that stays on my mind is keeping her here, against my mouth. She parts her lips slightly, allowing my tongue to break through the barrier her lips made to collide with her own. We explore each other, her soft breath brushing against my top lip as she exhales deeply. The piercing I’d admired minutes ago now grazes my tongue, the metal smooth, addictive, and cool, just like I imagined it would be. I suck on her bottom lip as she does so on my top, and right now, I want nothing more than to have her in my apartment, in my office, and on my desk—

My body burns, and my hand lowers down to her bare thigh just as she breaks away from the kiss.

I’m left panting, flustered, and a fucking mess that solely she has created.

She curls her lips into her teeth and darts her eyes low between us, clearing her throat.

I breathe. ‘What was…’

‘Don’t let it go to your head,’ she warns. ‘That was for her.’ She dips her head to the side at the woman I now remember is watching us.

Right, of course, it was. Why would it be for anything else?

‘So, you’re going along with my idea, hm?’

She breathes, whispering, ‘Only because I have no other choice. Thanks to you.’

‘Helloooo,’ the woman drags. ‘Amazing show, but I’d like to meet the cast!’

If she only knew of the act that we’re pulling off right now.

Raelynn rolls her eyes. ‘She’s my sister,’ she quickly informs. Then, she switches her face to a smile, a fake one. ‘Gia!’ She names the woman. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?’

She grabs my hand and threads my fingers into hers. I stare at them. Her chilling rings against my skin send a shiver up my spine. Fucking hell. 

What did I get myself into?

Raelynn opens the gate, and on the other end is her sister, Gia, with a man holding her hand, who I’m assuming is the fiancé. He’s shorter than me, which most people are. Not everyone’s blessed with six and a half inches of height.

There’s a wedding in a few months, I remember her mother saying. It must be theirs.

‘I wanted to surprise you at your new apartment, but you weren’t there, so I came here; it’s the only other place you go around here,’ Gia answers, looking around at Raelynn’s Garden. “This place always amazes me. How in the world have you kept up with all of this?”

The sisters hugged, and I turned to the man. He grins, and I extend my hand. He grabs it and pulls me towards him. I’m surprised momentarily, then quickly recover, giving him some pats on the back. ‘Nice to meet you. Milo, right?’ He says as we part. I nod, and he tells me his name—Dallas.

But I find it hard to concentrate on what Dallas is fucking saying to me when Raelynn is at my side caressing my arm. I’m not sure if it’s an anxiety thing or a part of her act, but her fingertips glide from my bicep to my wrist as she speaks to her sister. With her hand in mine, her body pressing into my arm, practically hugging it. She leans her head against my shoulder, and I slip my free hand into my khaki pockets, attempting to hide the visible bulge between my legs. I stay like that for the majority of the conversation.

‘So, the wedding,’ Gia says to us both. ‘Inspired by my amazing sister, it’s florist-themed. Don’t forget, you know the date, be there!’ She walks backward with Dallas towards their car.

Raelynn nods and waves her goodbye. ‘We heard you the last four times, Gia.’ But it’s not loud enough for anyone but me to hear. The sister and fiancé get in the car and drive off.

As if the curtains closed and the audience isn’t in view anymore, Raelynn turns to me, her smile drops, and her hand leaves mine. Instead, they get buried deep into the roots of her curly head of hair as she lets out a stress-filled sigh. She pulls on the strands so hard I nearly tell her to stop.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

‘I can’t tell them yet,’ she says, releasing her grip and throwing her hands in the air. ‘About this not being real, about you not being real.’

I raise an eyebrow. ‘So, what am I? Fake?’

She looks up at me with a dead expression. ‘You know what I mean. Us in this lie. God, I’m so sick of lies.’

We start walking down the street that leads to our building, several minutes away. ‘We can always keep acting,’ I suggest. ‘You get to keep your charade for your family and me…’

She looks up at me. ‘You what? What would you gain from this other than having to ‘be‘ with someone you don’t want to be with.’

I look away from her. I don’t think she could be any more wrong. I wanted nothing but to talk to her the second I stepped into the elevator. The desire to speak to her ate away at me, teaching me what it means to starve for someone. And here I thought being a teacher meant I knew it all. Though she’s made it clear, she has no thought of us ever being something more than an illusion to her family. So, the thought exits my mind, and I find an answer to her question.

‘My ex-girlfriend,’ I say. ‘We dated for a while; she quickly became a part of the family; my father loves her and wants me to marry the woman.”

“What’s the problem there…?”

“The problem is she’s my ex for a reason. She’s not exactly the most sane person, and getting rid of her is like getting rid of mold. She keeps coming back. I need to prove to her I’ve moved on, and—’ I gasp for dramatic effect, looking down at Raelynn. ‘Here’s my fake girlfriend to do just that.’

I wrap an arm around her shoulders, and she rolls her eyes. If she keeps doing that, they’ll get stuck that way, I swear it.

Raelynn huffs out a laugh through her nose. ‘So, you want me to run your ex-girlfriend away because…. what? She’s too… obsessed with you?’

I pause. ‘Yes.’

‘Do you know how full of yourself you sound?’

‘Love–”

“Raelynn.”

“Raelynn, when she realized I didn’t want her anymore, she poked holes in our condoms with needles. If I hadn’t caught her in the act, I’d be stuck with a baby from that woman. I’d rather live life in a cardboard box.’

Raelynn’s jaw drops. ‘Oh my God.’

I nod. ‘The woman is fucking crazy, I’m telling you.’

She hums. ‘Okay, fine. I run your ex-girlfriend away, and you help me convince my family I have my shit together.’ I nod in response. ‘But,’ she starts, ‘no touching me when you don’t have to.’ She glances at my arm around her shoulders, and I take it off her, nodding. ‘No kissing when we don’t necessarily have to, and absolutely no…’ she pauses. ‘No… you know…’

I draw my eyebrows together at her loss of words. ‘No, what? Sex?’ I fight the urge to smirk when her eyes dart away. ‘There, of course, won’t be any sex, Raelynn.’ I laugh now, ignoring the fullness that still stretches out the material of my trousers.

Hopefully, Raelynn doesn’t notice; she has a reputation for staring at my dick. She hugs herself with her hands as if suddenly becoming embarrassed. ‘Yeah, no sex.’

I nod. ‘Deal.’ My hand slips from my pocket, and I hold it before her.

She takes it, her chilled rings rubbing against my skin as she shakes my hand. ‘Deal.”