Ex-Husband's Regret

Rowan

Today I was hoping to have a wonderful evening with Emma, but that was blown to shits when I saw Ava out on a date with Ethan.

“Rowan?” Emma calls me but I just can’t get my brain to function.

There, Ava stood in the arms of another man. At first I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me. I had been happy because seeing Ethan out with another woman proved he was a weasel.

That was until I realized said woman was Ava

She was stunningly beautiful. A sight I have never seen before. Her flawless skin was on display and the little black dress she had on showed her curves.

Sure I’ve seen her n*ked before but this sight hit me differently. She had dressed up, something she never did when we were together. Probably because I never asked her out and never bothered with her.

I watch as Ethan pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear. That gets my blood rushing, but not

like watching him caress her cheek before k*ssing her forehead. Seeing him doing that has me seeing red

She smiles at him. A smile that for an unknown reason almost brings me to my knees.

“Rowan, you’re hurting me!” Emma snaps.

It’s only then that I realize that I had tightened my hand around her. I loosen it before turning in the direction of Ava. Our eyes collide but she quickly averts them, before stepping into Ethan’s car.

I wanted to rage. To destroy something, someone actually. I wanted to hit Ethan to a bloody pulp. I was mad at him and at my reaction at seeing him with Ava

Emma wrenches her arm from mine before stomping away angrily.

Before I can stop her, she hails a taxi and leaves.

I didn’t understand my anger. Now more than anything I understood that there was something going on between Ava and Ethan. I hated it.

My mind was so F***ing torn, and I was confused as shit. I know Emma didn’t deserve this after all the shit I put her through, but also I didn’t know how to explain why all of a sudden her sister affected me so much.

Getting in my car, I drive off and head towards her condo because I know that’s where she’ll be. It doesn’t take me long before I’m parking outside her building.

She gave ine a spare key, so I unlock the door and get in. I find her seated on the sofa, staring at nothing.

“Emma?” I call to her gently.

She turns to look. Her blue eyes red and puffy. I feel like an asshole. This is the woman I’ve loved since I understood what love is. Yet here I was hurting her, after promising never to do it again.

“What are you doing here?” she composes herself, Hiding away her pain.

“I’m F***ing sorry for earlier…”

“Are you?” she asks, her eyes piercing mine. “Do you know how painful it was to watch you pinning over my sister? How hard it was to watch you drool over her then get pissed off when you realized that she was out with another man”

The guilt that eats at me is ravenous. Either way, I still couldn’t help how I reacted to seeing Ava. I should have and I probably could have. Seeing her like that wasn’t something I was prepared for.

“Emma…” she cuts me off and stands up

She begins to pace, her hand gesturing wildly. Something she does when she’s pissed but doesn’t know how to deal with it.

“Did you fall in love with her during your marriage? Is that it? Then why the hell did you ask me to give your another chance if you knew very well that your love for me was already dead?” she demands.

“I’m not in love with, Ava” I growl out.

I think I would know if I were in love with her. 

“Are you sure? Because from where I’m standing, the way your behave towards her suggests otherwise”

“We were married, of course I care for her but that’s it”

If that was the case, then why did I feel like I wanted to murder someone every time I think of Ava and any other man? I shake those thoughts away. I wasn’t ready to answer them

“You’re a goddamn liar. You’re in love with her, just F***ing admit it” she shouts angrily then proceeds to throw a book at me.

I dodge it just in time and it hits the wall behind me instead.

“Will you calm down and let me explain” I snap, feeling my temper rise.

“I don’t want your st* pid explanation. It’s bound to be lies” she shrieks. “Just leave, Rowan I can’t deal with you right now.”

She collapses on her sofa and continues staring at the blank Tv. I wanted to stay but I don’t think it is a good idea so I leave instead

I had no direction as I drove My head was a F***ing mess. Caught between two women. I know that Emma was hurting but I couldn’t bring my mind to focus on her wanted

I now had everything I’ve ever wanted. Yet here was, ruining the fragile relationship I had with Emma Ava has always been unwanted. The wrong sister. So why the hell was she twisting me up all of a sudden? I hated being confused and that’s exactly what Ava was F***ing doing to me.

I finally stop my car, only to realize I was parked outside Ava’s house. How I ended up here, I don’t F***ing know

Now that I was here, the need to see her consumed me. I felt like I would go crazy with the st* pid need. One I didn’t even understand in the F***ing place.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

Getting out, I rush towards her door and knock urgently. Hoping that she was home.

“Did you forget something?” she opens her door and stops to look at me in surprise.

I bet I was the last person she expected to see at her door. I don’t give her the chance to speak before pushing her inside, locking the door and crashing my l*ps to hers

I take her l*ps with a need that almost brings me down to my F***ing knees. She gaps in shock and I take the opportunity to deepen the k*ss. Feeling her in every damn fiber of my b*dy.

Wrapping my hand around her tiny waist. I pull her closer, bridging the gap between us.

I needed more. I was about to lift her up and wrap her legs around my hips, when she pushes me

Then she slaps me.

“What the hell, Rowan?” she screams. Her eye are wide and her l*ps are swollen. She looked thoroughly devoured.

The slap she gave me brought me back to my senses. She looked as shocked and confused as I was. Without giving her answer, I open the door and stomp out. Banging the door behind me. I was beyond angry with myself.

I get back to my car and drive off. Still confused about what just happened.

Ava was right.

What the F*** was I doing? Because I sure as shit no longer knew